George Asks… My 35 year old son recently fell on hard times and asked to move back home. My wife and I want to help but we are concerned… any advice?

More adults from 25 to 34 years old live with their parents now than in 2005, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

So, when your adult children  have a temporary situation like a job loss, divorce or something of the like,  it is natural to want to help them and I say YES – absolutely , however, set some family ground rules!

Here is a conversation you could have with your child:

“Son, I am so sorry that you are having a rough time right now. Your mom and I want to help you through this transition. So, we want you to move home.  But we have a few things we need to be clear about before you move back in.  You have been gone for a while now and your mom and I are in a routine and we have clearly budgeted our money to manage the house and the expenses. We are going to need you to help pay rent, the utilities and for food. I’d love it if you cooked for your mom and me once a week. Trash day is Thursday; curfew is 10 pm weekdays and 1am on weekends – if you won’t be coming home please let us know so we won’t worry. Don’t play your music too loudly.  We would like you to set some goals for how long you’ll need to stay and how we can help you get back on your feet. We want you to re-gain your independence. We will have family meetings every couple weeks. I’m going to put this in a contract and expect you to sign it on move in day. We are looking forward to spending more time with you and we love you very much!”  

Dad and Mom

Remember, most of us moved out in the 1st place so that we didn’t have to live under our parents “rules” so setting clear expectations can make the process and the new living situation manageable and even enjoyable – or they will be motivated to succeed on their own!  

Good Luck and stick to the contract!

Meet Cheryl!

About Cheryl

As a successful business owner and community leader, Cheryl Braunschweiger is known and respected for getting things done with a degree of skill and enthusiasm that bring out the best in those around her - colleagues, clients and friends. The name of her business, ALMC Mortgage, reflects Cheryl's philosophy and personality. She says it stands for All Loans Must Close –a reflection of her determination to do whatever it takes to serve her clients. Cheryl has been in the mortgage lending business for 20 years. Read More About Cheryl
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